


Changing the Game

by Marylebone221



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: AU, AUTom, F/M, Fluff, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-10 05:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marylebone221/pseuds/Marylebone221
Summary: you have enough of being taken for granted, things will have to change





	1. The beginning of everything possible

**Author's Note:**

> Hey,  
> don't know if it has a happy or a sad ending, neither do I know if it is going to be a long story or a shorter one. Depends on how i feel i guess.  
> I hope you will enjoy it. It won'T be updated regularly maybe from week to week or sometimes even from day to day. I am a bit busy at the moment. But i hope that there will be at least one chapter a week.  
> Thanks for reading :)  
> Have a wonderful day and remember to always start your day with a smile no matter how hard it gets :*

He promised me to be home,   
He promised me to not keep me waiting again.   
He said he would be home at 4.   
He said he would bring his kids to bed this time.   
He said he would make dinner for us tonight.   
He said we would watch a movie tonight.   
He said he would do anything to make me happy again.   
He said he would do anything to make it better.   
He said he would make up for all the things he has done.   
He said he would try harder this time.   
This time... I have heard this 3 times now.   
I have waited everytime he had promised to be home.   
I have always waited till i fell asleep.   
I have always brought the kids to bed.   
I have always told his kids, that daddy had to work late today.   
I have always waited to eat until i fell asleep.   
I have always waited to turn on the TV.   
I have always thought he would make it better.   
I have always forgiven him for the things he had done.   
I have have always waited for him to try harder.   
But that is it. I can't do it anymore. I can't wait for him and hope he might change.   
Finally i will be free of waiting and hoping and being disappointed all the time.   
This is it.


	2. Chapter 2

now my bags are packed,  
i am ready to leave.  
You never came back,  
yet you left again.  
the kids are ready,  
though they can't understand.   
Still it is not hard,  
as they never got to know you,   
as i did, i got to know you.  
I know how you can be,   
sweet, supportive, attentive,  
therefore giving you up  
is hard.  
Hard to realize  
i am not worth the real you.  
Now my bags are packed,  
I am ready to leave,  
leave the memories behind,   
leave the sorrow behind,  
leave your part of me behind.  
Now my bags are packed,  
I wanted to talk but you were never there,  
I wanted to call you but you never answered,  
i never wanted it to end with a text,   
but that's all what's left.  
Now my bags are packed   
and i leave you behind!


	3. Standing while sitting still

Here i am, sitting still,  
A cup of coffee in my hand,  
On Lola's couch,  
The couch we have sat on before,  
Tasting wine, playing sharades  
Happy!  
I think?  
And now?  
Alone!  
Not happy, not sad,  
Not able to move not able to taste,  
So I am sitting still,  
A cup of coffee in my hand. 

The Phone in front of me,  
My nemesis,  
Live without it,  
I can't,  
Live with it,  
I can't.  
It vibrates,  
Can't turn the ring on  
Can't turn it completely off.  
Again it is you,  
Seeing your face on the screen,  
I freeze!  
So I am sitting still,  
A cup of coffee in my hand. 

167 missed calls,  
54 left voice mails,  
99+ unread what'sapp messages,  
Couldn't answer,  
Couldn't listen to,  
Couldn't read,  
Yet I sat there,  
Saw every incoming call,  
Saw every incoming text,  
Torn between contacting you  
And wanting to get away as far as possible.  
So I am stuck,  
So I am sitting still,  
A cup of coffee in my hand. 

 

The cup of coffee in my hand,  
I am still sitting here,  
Not realising anything, anywhere,  
Two careful hands grab my cup  
And put it somewhere,  
Two strong hands pick me up,  
Carry me somewhere,  
Two strong hands put me to bed,  
Two careful hands tuck me into bed,  
Now I am lying here still,  
The blanket in my hands.


	4. The past in the present

The messages remain unread,   
The voicemails remain unheard,   
Though haunting me.   
Back I am,   
A part of me at least,   
My phone I still carry,   
My phone I start to use.   
The messages remain unread!

The messages remain unread,   
The voicemails remain unheard,   
Still in my friends house,  
I start to work again,   
In the house I stay,  
Cook, clean, wash,   
Able to recognize again,   
Able to realize again, 

The messages remain unread,   
The voicemails remain unheard,   
The kids I can be with again,   
Yet it is difficult,   
Louis has your eyes,   
Those kind, smart, eyes,   
Sometimes puppy eyes,   
Jack has your curls,   
Soft hair curling up colored like yours.

The messages remain unread!  
The voicemails remain unheard!  
The part of you in our kids hurts,   
The missing part of you during the day hurts,   
The missing part of you in my bed hurts,   
The missing part of your input hurts,   
The missing part of you practicing hurts,   
The missing part of your Shakespeare hurts,   
The missing part of you in me hurts.   
Yet it has hurt before as well.   
So the messages remain unread.   
And the voicemails remain unheard.


	5. Knocking memory

Knock, knock, knock,  
The body behind the door I know.  
Knock, knock, knock  
The voice behind the door I know.

"please let me in"  
He shouts behind the door I know  
"please hear me out"  
He shouts behind the door I know. 

'nothing comes to mind'  
I stand still in front of the door I know.  
'nothing in my body cares to work'  
I stand still in front of the door I know. 

Knock, knock, knock,  
"please let me in"  
Knock, knock, knock,  
"please hear me out" 

'help I should call for'  
Away I move, away from the body I know.  
'or shall I let him speak'  
Towards I move, towards the voice I know. 

Knock, knock, knock,  
"I am sorry, I should have been there for you."  
Knock, knock, knock  
"I am sorry, I should have been better to you."

Crack,  
My splintered heart breaks again.  
'tom'  
The word breaking my voice again. 

"baby"  
My eyes begin to answer.  
"my love"  
My knees stop to answer. 

Darkness... 

Two soft hands bring some light,  
Two strong hands pick me up,  
Two strong hands put me down,  
Two soft hands tuck me in.


	6. Back in silence

Here i lie  
Unable to move, 

There he was,  
There he talked, 

I stood still,  
I couldn't speak.

On the door he knocked,  
To the floor I fell. 

I take the phone,  
I put it back. 

He fought with the house's owner,  
He lost to the house's owner. 

I stand up  
My lawyer I call. 

He was arrested by the police.  
He was kept there. 

I end the call,  
The divorce is in motion. 

He won't get close to me again,  
The law will bind him to stay away. 

I will have to face what is coming next.  
I will have to overcome the past.  
I will have to leave the past behind.  
I will have to be strong and let anyone say anything.  
I will have to do this for me. 

The TV I turn on.  
The coffee in my hands. 

His face flashes on the screen.  
Worn out face,  
Teary eyes,  
Pale, 

Here I am sitting,  
Still the coffee in my hands.  
Shocked to hear  
Shocked to see. 

He apologieses.  
He says he has done wrong.  
He says he hasn't done anything for me.  
He says he hasn't been anywhere with me.  
He says he hasn't been with me anytime.  
He says he has done my kids wrong.  
He says he has done me wrong.  
He says he wants to make it OK.  
He says he will be better to me.  
He says he will be better to the kids.  
He says he will take a break.  
He says he will step down from work.  
He says he will do anything I want.  
He says he will go anywhere I want.  
He says he will be with me anytime I want. 

Here I am sitting,  
Still the coffee in my hands.


	7. Memory

Cleaning the dishes,  
I remember.   
How did it start with him  
Why I stayed with him.

Handsome he has always been,   
Attentive he used to be,   
Smart he has always been,   
Caring he used to be. 

Taking me out on a sunny beach,   
Energizing me.   
Watching the stars with me,   
Calming me. 

Calling me,  
Whenever there was time,   
Texting me,   
Whenever he could. 

Reading for,   
Whenever I craved for it.   
Feeding me,   
Whenever I longed for it. 

Knowing me,   
Better than anyone else.   
Reading me,   
Better than anyone else. 

He used to be perfect,   
Perfect for me.   
But change has come.   
Within him and I. 

Change has come,  
Within him earlier,   
Than within me,   
Change has begun. 

Our lifes have changed,   
Our longings have changed,   
Our situations have changed,   
Our desires have changed,   
Our wishes have changed,   
Our dreams have changed. 

Ozr life's have changed,   
You have changed,   
I have changed,   
No longer do we dream together,   
Of a life together. 

So we have to part,   
We have to stop adjusting,   
And start changing.   
Moving to what we dream of,   
What we desire,   
What we crave,   
What we long for.

Let us live happy,   
Happy without one another.


	8. From now on

Here i am now,  
In my new flat I stand,  
In my new kitchen I am,  
My coffee I keep in my hands.

A year has past,  
Seeing you only ones,  
Our lawyers at our sides,  
My coffee I keep in my hands. 

You take the kids  
Whenever your schedule allows.  
Whenever I allow it.  
My coffee I keep in my hands. 

We don't talk,  
Hello, goodbye is all,  
We don't see each other,  
My coffee I keep in my hands.

Work I started,  
Part-time because of the kids,  
New friends I haven't,  
My coffee I keep in my hands. 

Old friends come and go,  
A new dog we have,  
Out, only with him I go,  
My coffee I keep in my hand. 

So it is,  
So it will be for a while,  
I keep in going,  
My coffee I keep in my hands.


End file.
